As you know, a few days ago I shared my biggest fear! So today I'm going to talk about something I'm proud of (besides finally admitting to my fear). And i will keep this on point to my art - lest I get all caught up in my philosophy of child-rearing and how amazing that worked out!
As with all transitions in life, the hardest part is changing ones self perception. We live in a world of identification by job title. When I graduated from college I ended up working in television. It was at a time when cable was really taking off. As I had worked hard to go into film since I was 14 and studied acting in London at 16, shot and edited a documentary film in Katmandu Nepal in college, it was a relative breeze to work as a production coordinator for a television series. My boyfriend and I both wanted to move to New Mexico and get out of LA. Meanwhile at my job, management and the owner wanted to promote me to General Manager, overseeing post production for 2 feature films and 5 television series. I only found this out once the car and U-Haul were packed and we were literally driving out of the driveway. That's when the phone rang with the job offer. At the time I was 22. Had I stayed in the crazy freeway land of southern California, I certainly would have reached my goals of making movies - whether producing or directing - or acting.
We moved to Albuquerque, before the days of Breaking Bad or any studios were built. Occasionally I freelanced on low quality TV commercials. Mostly I worked at a series of random jobs while I developed my painting skills. My challenge was two-fold. My self perception was as a film director/coordinator/producer and i knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that I was good at that. And while frustrated with the process of learning to paint, I was more frustrated with the fact that my paintings didn't have a story that unfolded in scene after scene. I loved the temporal story telling of film making more than I realized!! Nobody understood. 'You want to be an illustrator? An animator? No, I didn't. I just wanted a large, cohesive group of paintings that was bigger than the sum of its parts - with really cool characters and an amazing story! What's not to get? I was isolated and I didn't know what form it would take. And then there was that massive doubt about if I was any good at painting anyway and if I would ever make the transition mentally.
So what I'm proud of: Hanging in There and finding a way to create a story with the characters and landscapes. AND reaching a point where I feel all the confidence toward my painting career that I felt towards film making - and being able to combine both skill sets together. Super Excited to unveil the project soon!!!!!
As with all transitions in life, the hardest part is changing ones self perception. We live in a world of identification by job title. When I graduated from college I ended up working in television. It was at a time when cable was really taking off. As I had worked hard to go into film since I was 14 and studied acting in London at 16, shot and edited a documentary film in Katmandu Nepal in college, it was a relative breeze to work as a production coordinator for a television series. My boyfriend and I both wanted to move to New Mexico and get out of LA. Meanwhile at my job, management and the owner wanted to promote me to General Manager, overseeing post production for 2 feature films and 5 television series. I only found this out once the car and U-Haul were packed and we were literally driving out of the driveway. That's when the phone rang with the job offer. At the time I was 22. Had I stayed in the crazy freeway land of southern California, I certainly would have reached my goals of making movies - whether producing or directing - or acting.
We moved to Albuquerque, before the days of Breaking Bad or any studios were built. Occasionally I freelanced on low quality TV commercials. Mostly I worked at a series of random jobs while I developed my painting skills. My challenge was two-fold. My self perception was as a film director/coordinator/producer and i knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that I was good at that. And while frustrated with the process of learning to paint, I was more frustrated with the fact that my paintings didn't have a story that unfolded in scene after scene. I loved the temporal story telling of film making more than I realized!! Nobody understood. 'You want to be an illustrator? An animator? No, I didn't. I just wanted a large, cohesive group of paintings that was bigger than the sum of its parts - with really cool characters and an amazing story! What's not to get? I was isolated and I didn't know what form it would take. And then there was that massive doubt about if I was any good at painting anyway and if I would ever make the transition mentally.
So what I'm proud of: Hanging in There and finding a way to create a story with the characters and landscapes. AND reaching a point where I feel all the confidence toward my painting career that I felt towards film making - and being able to combine both skill sets together. Super Excited to unveil the project soon!!!!!
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