And Something I'm Proud of:

As you know, a few days ago I shared my biggest fear!  So today I'm going to talk about something I'm proud of (besides finally admitting to my fear). And i will keep this on point to my art - lest I get all caught up in my philosophy of child-rearing and how amazing that worked out!

As with all transitions in life, the hardest part is changing ones self perception. We live in a world of identification by job title. When I graduated from college I ended up working in television. It was at a time when cable was really taking off. As I had worked hard to go into film since I was 14 and studied acting in London at 16, shot and edited a documentary film in Katmandu Nepal in college, it was a relative breeze to work as a production coordinator for a television series. My boyfriend and I both wanted to move to New Mexico and get out of LA. Meanwhile at my job, management and the owner wanted to promote me to General Manager, overseeing post production for 2 feature films and 5 television series. I only found this out once the car and U-Haul were packed and we were literally driving out of the driveway. That's when the phone rang with the job offer.  At the time I was 22.  Had I stayed in the crazy freeway land of southern California, I certainly would have reached my goals of making movies - whether producing or directing - or acting.

We moved to Albuquerque, before the days of Breaking Bad or any studios were built. Occasionally I freelanced on low quality TV commercials. Mostly I worked at a series of random jobs while I developed my painting skills. My challenge was two-fold. My self perception was as a film director/coordinator/producer and i knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that I was good at that. And while frustrated with the process of learning to paint, I was more frustrated with the fact that my paintings didn't have a story that unfolded in scene after scene. I loved the temporal story telling of film making more than I realized!! Nobody understood. 'You want to be an illustrator? An animator? No, I didn't. I just wanted a large, cohesive group of paintings that was bigger than the sum of its parts - with really cool characters and an amazing story! What's not to get? I was isolated and I didn't know what form it would take. And then there was that massive doubt about if I was any good at painting anyway and if I would ever make the transition mentally.

So what I'm proud of: Hanging in There and finding a way to create a story with the characters and landscapes. AND reaching a point where I feel all the confidence toward my painting career that I felt towards film making - and being able to combine both skill sets together. Super Excited to unveil the project soon!!!!!

The Divide

The Divide    36" x 48"  

As our characters find their way out of the Crystalline Forest, they are confronted with their next challenge. It's going to be a long way to get to the Gabriella Passage. They can almost see it way off in the distance.

What would you, the viewer, think if you found yourself having to pass through this land? What if you had to cross The Divide? How deep is it and what's at the bottom? Does anyone live here? As I write this story, with the painting prompting my writing and the writing prompting the next painting, it's fun. As a viewer, does it make  you want to participate? I'd love to hear your thoughts!! Please feel free to comment.

This painting is available for purchase at: http://barbaraferrier.com/workszoom/1578593

And My Biggest Fear is:

(I've accepted a Holloween Challenge to admit my fears) 

Snob. Yes, you read that right. Snob. Really, I think to myself. That’s it? You’ve held yourself back all these years because some people are snobs? It’s true. It’s not a fear of rejection. It’s a fear of irrational rejection, based on arbitrary rules made up Just to Reject by snobs. The kids in 3rd grade who wouldn’t talk to you because of your shoes or hair tie, for example..

How does this relate to my painting? Back in the olden days - say 1995, art dealerships were the primary source for selling original paintings. And because there were so few of them compared to the number of artists, they had an unreasonable amount of power. They borrowed inventory from artists, cutting their overhead dramatically compared to a store.. If  you were an artist you needed a Gallery With Integrity. If they had poor business skills it was a big risk. In the city I lived in, the snobs thrived!! One gallery had 360 artists - they had 3  artists show each month. And they took an exclusive for the whole state! Want to be taken off the market to say you had a gallery?  In other parts of the country, relationships between artists and galleries were very reasonable. I knew a dealer from New Mexico who opened a gallery here, looked at the 'provincial culture' and within a few months packed her bags and moved back. She knew what professionalism looked like.

I was offered a show in Portland in'97. It was during a time when my husband had been laid off and we were scrambling. I was running a fundraiser with a limited edition print and had several articles published in various magazines. My prints were selling well around the country, but they weren't replacing my husband's salary and we  had 3 kids under 7 at that point. It was precarious. The gallery in Portland had bought and sold several prints and they had six customers waiting for prints to arrive!  I suggested the gallery buy my smallest, least expensive painting wholesale, or the six prints for their waiting list (either would have covered my cost to travel and deliver more work).  They went to an Art Dealer Association meeting. The dealers as a group said artist must always deliver the art first and get paid later - even prints that were selling well. Was that snob or just bad advice? Since I couldn't afford to travel (but felt ashamed to admit it), they cancelled the order for the prints because they didn't want to offend the other art dealers by paying for them. They had wanted to add two more prints and had already published one of my paintings in an advertisement! I lost. The customers lost. And the gallery that made it's money on framing lost. Do you suppose they were afraid of rejection or afraid of a snob at that meeting? The moral of the story? Don't let a clique make your business decisions! And never fear a Snob.

Meanwhile I sold my prints directly to people in the US, Japan and Canada and enjoyed that immensely!! I always knew prints arrived in good condition because I called and asked.

 Boldly Forward is my new motto.

Back Story of this painting project

I want to tell a short story about where this project came from - it may feel like ancient history to my those who know me. I think that means when an idea sticks, it's lighting your path.

When my oldest daughter was born I went through the upheaval of having no sleep, a 24/7 responsibility without  weekends or semester breaks or anything that historically had been a reprieve when I was this exhausted. I was home with her unless we were taking walks. I was blown away by the magnitude of the energy required. I was so sleep deprived I didn't feel safe driving to the grocery store! I eventually looked into daycare but when they said 3:1 ratio I thought 3 adults, right? She easily consumed all of the mental and physical energy of three adults!

Deliberate Intention, the theme of All My Work, was something I first implemented in a PEPS support group while creating the world for my family that would be satisfying. We parsed our childhood experiences so we could be deliberate about what traditions we passed down. We talked about Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc, and made deliberate decisions. I remember stumbling into Easter with no plan, just the old family playbook.  Immediately realized I needed to be more intentional. It was a powerful lesson that stuck with me.

One night my husband and I were looking through my paintings and we started talking about what it would be like to walk into the landscapes. Who would we meet there? What was that place that felt so 'enter-able.?' We started telling creating stories inspired by the paintings. It was so exciting to watch this whole world come to  life and become a place. And, having a large project I could control immediately increased my patience and my happiness level. My daughter was 6 months old.

That painted world has lived with me for all these years! I've written several stories or chapters, made a coloring book and now it's being integrated so you can share and enjoy this project!